how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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