I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
