No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
