Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
