You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
