Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
