why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize