i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
