I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
