Umm I'm too high to move.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
