So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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