there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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