Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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