ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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