When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize
