battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
