Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
