Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
