do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
