I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
