Will you blow on my dice?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
