More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
