ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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