i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
