call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
not ubering you a puppy
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
