it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize