Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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