last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I wish i was in the wii world.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
