You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
operation have a gay friend backfired
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize