new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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