Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
