I'm so fucking centered right now
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
