oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Can I color on your dick again?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Randomize
