Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
