Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
