My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
