I'm sorry my penis didn't work
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize