I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
