but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
