Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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