I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize