i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
