Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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