'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
