imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
