don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
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