I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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