I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm at about main and main street
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
