You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
