If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
