either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
