So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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