you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
