Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
