dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
