Sponge bath it is.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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