I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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