it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Randomize
