I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
