i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
