"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
