Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
