I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
