You just made me feel so damn special
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
