I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
