Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize