In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
