I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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