my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
