Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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