i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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