yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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