I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
