I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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