I can tuck mytits in my pants
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
